I may have opened another can of worms. Yes, I have stopped crying and yes, I have begun to move on and accept what happened. But I had stopped thinking about it 24/7, and since I saw him yesterday I haven't been able to shake the feeling that there is still unfinished business. I mean, there isn't, really. But I am kind of hating the fact that he didn't offer an explanation for his words and actions that fateful September day. He placed the blame on me, saying that he tried several times to tell me he wasn't looking for anything serious and that I simply refused to hear it. And this I admit is true, to a point. But that doesn't excuse the fact that if he really didn't want to be with me, he shouldn't have said the beautiful things he said to me that day. He should have let me go. He was the one sending mixed signals, not me. I was very clear what I wanted - I didn't want marriage or any long term commitment, but I did expect a monogamous relationship and for him to be my boyfriend. And he was so cold. I've never seen him act like that before, which only goes to show that he really is completely over this whole ordeal and is probably very grateful that I am now out of his life and he never has to deal with me again.
It's just sad. I'm sad when I know I shouldn't be. I should also be grateful he is out of mine, because it's true - he never saw me as anything other than a friend with benefits, and that's putting it graciously. The truth really does hurt sometimes.
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