I was talking tonight with a close girlfriend of mine, and she mentioned how she had this urge today to contact past relationships and apologize for basically effing things up. Now these are people she has stayed in touch with over the years, so they weren't true blast-from-the-past phone calls. She had come across a concert ticket from the early 90s and the resulting memories caused her to think about how time can really change your perspective. Back then, her 15 year old self was devastated by her first love breaking up with her. Now, literally half a lifetime later, she almost wished she could tell her younger self that despite that pain and anguish and feeling like you are going to die - you will get through it. It will be okay. And despite effing things up, it brings us to where we are today.
Both of the men she spoke with are in other relationships: one is married and expecting a second child; the other has just proposed to his longtime girlfriend. Most important is the fact that both hold no grudges or ill will towards my friend. They also accept responsibility for their actions that led to the demise of their relationships, as it is never the fault of one person. And both actually thanked my friend for helping them get to where they are today.
This caused me to consider my current situation.. dealing with a breakup is never easy. In fact it can be downright devastating. But flash forward 15 years from now. I can only hope that I will look back on this time and realize - you got through it. And I hope I too can thank my ex for helping me get to where I will eventually be.
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