This is a topic I love talking about and is something that I constantly strive for. In fact, back in 2010 my new years resolution was to "be more positive". After the awful year that was 2009, I found myself generally in a depressed mood, feeling down about so many things and constantly focusing on the negative. So I decided no matter what that I would take something not-so-positive that had happened and try to see the silver lining.
This of course led to a more sunny disposition overall. Sure I may have burnt my dinner, but I now knew how to properly use a broiler. Maybe I got stuck in traffic, but I got to hear the conclusion of some interesting NPR program that I would have otherwise missed.
This forced positivity also led to some really fake moments as well. I mean, why should everything have to have a silver lining? Why should you have to pretend to be appreciative for a shitty situation? Sometimes things are just bad. Period. And to not acknowledge this is equally as delusional as saying "everything in my life sucks" when you live in a white middle-upper class neighborhood. #firstworldproblems
The reason I really like this concept of cultivating gratefulness is because it's not actually about turning a negative into a positive, as my new years resolution attempted to do in 2010. I had it backwards. What it really means is taking time to remember an experience that made you HAPPY and acknowledge it. That way, when a negative thing does happen (and it will), you will cope better because you are already aware of the fact that positive things ALSO happen. It's not about ignoring the negatives but facing those situations head on and remembering that their occurrences are not any more frequent than the positives. It only feels like it because negatives hurt.
With that, I am recalling a recent event that did make me smile. The memory alone can still warm my heart despite feeling down in the dumps now. And I will try to more frequently acknowledge the fact that for every time I felt really really bad, there were plenty of times I felt really good.
This of course led to a more sunny disposition overall. Sure I may have burnt my dinner, but I now knew how to properly use a broiler. Maybe I got stuck in traffic, but I got to hear the conclusion of some interesting NPR program that I would have otherwise missed.
This forced positivity also led to some really fake moments as well. I mean, why should everything have to have a silver lining? Why should you have to pretend to be appreciative for a shitty situation? Sometimes things are just bad. Period. And to not acknowledge this is equally as delusional as saying "everything in my life sucks" when you live in a white middle-upper class neighborhood. #firstworldproblems
The reason I really like this concept of cultivating gratefulness is because it's not actually about turning a negative into a positive, as my new years resolution attempted to do in 2010. I had it backwards. What it really means is taking time to remember an experience that made you HAPPY and acknowledge it. That way, when a negative thing does happen (and it will), you will cope better because you are already aware of the fact that positive things ALSO happen. It's not about ignoring the negatives but facing those situations head on and remembering that their occurrences are not any more frequent than the positives. It only feels like it because negatives hurt.
With that, I am recalling a recent event that did make me smile. The memory alone can still warm my heart despite feeling down in the dumps now. And I will try to more frequently acknowledge the fact that for every time I felt really really bad, there were plenty of times I felt really good.
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