31 days.. day 24

Day 24: Be even more specific

While this post on msn focus mainly on fitness, I think it can easily be applied to life in a broader sense. Certainly as a P.T. I know the value of making specific goals, not only for my patient's benefit, but also to ensure the insurance companies will reimburse for my services. Instead of making the goal: "patient will walk better," the goal of "patient will ambulate 500ft on uneven surfaces with single point cane, no loss of balance and modified independence" is much more specific and an ultimately more helpful way of documenting progress. That way, when the patient walks 150ft the first week with his walker, and builds up to 250ft the next, and then begins to use a cane the next, we have objective evidence that he is indeed making gains.

As for the big picture, I think being specific about life's general goals is also helpful for the same reason: it lets us determine if we are moving towards our goal, stagnating, or even worse - totally falling behind or going in the opposite direction. No matter what the outcome, it allows us to take a set back and analyze our progress so that we can choose to either stay the course or make necessary changes to our action plans to get us back on track.

I also think documenting a goal or vocalizing it to others is a great way to hold yourself accountable. It's part of the reason why I set new years resolutions and am sure to tell someone about it. It may be partially because if I say it then it's real. I think it also has to do with a deeper issue - that I'm more fearful of disappointing others than disappointing myself. That said, it's something that I'm currently working through in my Oprah course.. trying to let go of the perfectionist, people-pleaser in me. But ultimately in some respects telling others does give me a better chance of accomplishing the goal that ultimately will make me a better me.

One thing that I've been thinking about a lot lately is how I never really vocalized what I wanted to get out of the relationship with my ex. I can say in some respects this happened with the "love of my life" in Boston as well, in that I never really said how I felt or what I wanted.. I assumed it was understood. It clearly wasn't in either relationship - in the Boston case the guy never felt I was even interested, let alone had fallen in love with him. In the case of my current ex, it's a little different. I did make the effort to say what I wanted - I wanted to be in a committed, monogamous relationship and I wanted him as a partner - but I didn't get the point across. Instead, I accepted his behavior when he treated me like a casual fling for a year and a half, and I never stood behind the ultimatums that I gave. He grew to assume I didn't really want anything serious, or at least he used it as an excuse to justify his less than desirable behavior.

This can apply to life generally, too. I don't really have a five year plan, but I guess I know the kinds of things I would someday like to achieve. Like, I do want to find a life partner to grow old with. I do want to own a home and have somewhere to feel settled. I do want to stay involved in healthcare as a profession, even if it's in a different capacity than my current role. I do want to own a dog. I do want to feel like my life mattered.

Now this is not to be confused with my wandering nature, in fact I think it compliments it greatly. As my tattoo explains, not all those who wander are lost. Maybe my lifestyle doesn't make sense to most, I can understand that. But just because I've been floating a little doesn't mean that I don't have goals I wish to meet. And they are fairly specific, other than the time line. In real life, insurance companies want a time line. They want to know how long it will take for Mr. Jones to walk those 500ft. So I tell them, four weeks. But to give myself a time line - which many people say is crucial to achieving goals - seems like I would be untrue to myself. Part of my life is grounded, but most of it is not, and to say "I want to find Mr. Right within three years" isn't me. Maybe it will happen in the next six months - maybe it'll take six years. I don't know. But I do know that when it happens I'll be ready.